“Even before the television debates, the Iranian candidates were going along with the regime….the were in denial, just as they were on the eve of the occupation of Fao (Peninsula)…..before their forces collapsed in all operational fronts….

“One of the most exciting events of the Fao ‘epic’ is that Iraqi disinformation planners wanted to convince the Iranian command that Iraqi forces…….
"They are making the same mistakes they made during Fao….following the same route…”

Idiotic Iraqi general, who was head of Saddam’s military intelligence during the war crimes: during the use of chemicals and gassing of Kurds and Iranians, during the invasion of Kuwait, during the setting of the Fires of Kuwait when 700 burning oil wells spewed smoke for for nearly ten months (I know, I breathed that black smoke with others, there was no escaping it, 24/7 for many months), and during the massacres of Shi’as and Kurds in the popular rebellions of 1991. I know people who were tortured and killed by the grisly regime that he was part of. Others know even more.

He is still fighting old lost wars, using the massive media of his former victims from a safe distance. A losing general Samarrai in search of a new war that would set the Gulf region on fire again, just like it did when he served his old master. A losing general in search of a winnable war…..a war that American boys and girls or, barring that, Israeli pilots can win for him and his new masters.

So, every time General Wafiq Samarrai publishes a piece advocating a new war, I will have to respond with my own wish list which consists of one item: his head in the hands of his main victims; the Iraqi people.
Cheers
Mohammed
Mon Email

On Jacko, Kim Jong-Il, Bush, Netanyahu, and Mother of All Follies

CNN, which can be truly called the Michael Jackson News Network has interviewed a Jacko insider (a friend names Chopra, but no dollar amount was put on this particular friend, yet) who mentions that Jacko was thinking of reaching out to Little Kim in old Pyongyang. He said that Jacko always reached out to strangers, calling them late at night (this doesn’t sound good) trying to learn from them. Maybe he could have gotten the Dear Pudgy Leader to give up some of his nukes for a duet, or a spot on his aborted tour?
Look for Larry King (Michael Jackson Live) to elaborate on this one for the next week or two. Hey, the news business is slow in summer.

“What if Israel does it? Thank God that Benjamin Netanyahu and George Bush did not manage to get together (in power. That would have been the Mother of All Catastrophes. Thank God there is a wiser master in the White House today, one who doesn’t look at the world with the arrogant eye of the neo-conservatives: wither with us or against us. The new Israeli government is more in tune with the last American administration…..

“If Netanyahu, lulled by the ease of the Ozirak operation in the early 1980s tries to bomb Iranian facilities…this would be the greatest gift to Ahmadinejad and the extreme conservatives in Iran…..” Asharq Alawsat
Cheers
Mohammd

An Iranian Summer and GOP Family Values

Ayatollah Ali Khamenai seems to have opted for the hardline against the masses of protesters in the cities of Iran. Not sure how this will work out: historically, Iranians don’t like to be cowed by brute force and they have always returned to challenge those in power. This has always differentiated them from their Arab neighbors to the west.

The Shah’s security forces could not do it. Besides, the armed forces usually refuse to fire on their own people, as they largely refused to do so during the 1978-79 Revolution. It will be interesting what happens when the memorial for those killed comes around in a few weeks. Not sure how things will go now: it largely depends how the ‘opposition’ leaders lead now. Either way, I doubt things will be the same in Iran. As for Prince Reza Pahlavi, I wouldn’t start polishing that crown yet: remember the Romanovs never made a comeback, even after Yeltsin.

Interesting how Republicans have tried to capitalize on the situation in Iran for their political purposes. They are calling for more support for the Iranian people. The same people they were eager to bomb to oblivion until recently. They use it to score points against Obama, but it took Henry Kissinger, their foreign policy uber-guru to come out and debunk their argument. Next: expect Jim Baker and Brent Scowcroft to wade in.

Still, all this probably will not take public attention away from Senator John (Family values) Ensign- it turns out he was doing some kind of four-some with his chosen partners, a whole family involved in either adultery and/or payoffs. Newt Gingrich’s own version of (family values) has probably faded from public memory. It turned out his values were worse than Bill Clinton’s, the man he criticized so much in public (they both fooled around with the help). Almost forgot that other stalwart of family values: Sen. Vitter of Louisiana- he of the hookers’ blackbook fame.
It almost looks like family values (Republican version) = screwing around, with females (and males if necessary), while married- without getting caught, of course. Once you get caught, it ain’t family values no more.
In fact the GOP has surprised us when it comes to sex: many more of their politicians are involved in/with adultery or prostitution than Democrats. It didn't use to be that way. It must be the many years of power, or maybe it is all these new enhancement drugs.

FYI-speaking of family values, Iran, Tom Daschle, and health care: in the semi-( or is it quasi)-democratic Iran of the mullahs they have both the public and private options in health care. of course in the Cuba of the Castor brothers, there is no choice: it is all public. That is what Michael Moore discovered: they would not accept his Visa.
Cheers
Mohammed

American Sports, Arab Sports, Northwest Grog, and Uptight Gulf Potentates

This last entry is copied from web site:
Of Seattle Mariners, Potentates, and empty Gulf Stadiums. How a Friday night game watching the Mariners lose another one made me ponder the chasm of sports cultures. Of ballpark food and grog, bike rides, and the usual Arab ennui in public. Why escaping Arab politics into Arab sports can be a more depressing affair. Sfeir, Netanyahu, and Hezbullah may be preferable to games presided over by tense Gulf potentates:

Went to another Mariners’ game last night (Friday). Lots of fun, tens of thousands of eager fans, singing, dancing, and waving signs. A typical Friday night baseball scene. The food was tasty, and the Northwest micro-refreshments great. But we left at the top of the ninth inning: the game against the Twins was tied 1-1, but I guessed what was coming and we decided to leave early. Besides, we wanted to avoid the crush out of the parking lot. I heard the final score on the way home: I was right to leave.

Just came back from two hours of biking along the beach. We needed the exercise to burn off and sweat out all the food and grog at Safeco Field.
Browsing through the news, I started to ponder sports, and how they differ among nations. I mean how people deal with them. The ritual of watching the game, and the whole event. The contrast could not be different between a ball game in America and a sports game in most Middle East countries, especially Arab countries, especially on my native Gulf where I was born and raised.
In my hometown on the Gulf, few people go to local soccer games these days, even though they claim to be passionate about the sport and about their favorite teams. Local teams would not survive as private concerns: ticket sales are lousy. Most people watch them on television, and you can see the stadium nearly empty. Maybe a few hundred show up, maybe one thousand in some cases. And usually one or two potentates and quasi-potentates. I have always suspected that the few who show up are connected to the presiding potentates, maybe their employees or favor-seekers. Or maybe they are given free Lotto tickets- not sure

There is no festive atmosphere as at Safeco Field. Watching the few people and the presiding potentate can be disheartening, it is like a wake (‘azaa) for somewhat who had died. The spectators are nearly all male. They all seem to be overly concerned with their headgear (ghitra & agal), keeping them straight: I am not sure why- maybe they expect a scout to be around seeking new faces for a remake of Lawrence of Arabia. But I do the same when I am home.

All, everybody who is over 18, sit with grim looks on their faces, with the grim potentate and his flunkies taking up the first row. Rarely does anybody smile, there certainly is no laughter. Everybody steals occasional glances toward the presiding potentate- some of them do it so often, you’d think it is Carla Bruni, Angelina Jolie, or Nicole Kidman presiding (I thought I’d throw in Nicole because her tall blond looks are so un-Arab, mate). Certainly the schmuck up front does not deserve a second look.

A soccer game without a potentate or two is not considered worthy of showing on state television, also run by other potentates. There is no food and refreshments, no singing and dancing. Arab men are absolutely the most uptight anywhere in the world in public, and the men in my native Gulf hometown are the most uptight of Arab men. The most uptight of the most uptight: get the picture? Don't get me wrong: they can raise private hell with the best of them, I know that firsthand- but in private.

Not sure exactly what this has to do with politics or economics of the region- but I was taught early at school that "a healthy mind lies within a healthy body"- no, it is not a quote from Chairman Mao.

But writing this beats reading up on Lebanon, on Patriarch Sfeir warning Christians not to vote for Hezbullah allies (at least half of them will anyway), on a Hezbullah leader predicting they will get the majority vote tomorrow (maybe, maybe not, not that it would change much), on Netanyahu being miffed at Obama for calling for a two-state solution in Palestine (the only solution that will not make Israel into an apartheid regime). Not to mention on Iraq and Kuwait going back to a silly Saddam-era game of verbal escalation through the media and through irresponsible politicians. Not to mention Saudi media gloating that Obama visited their king before he went to see Mubarak in Cairo. Not to mention Iran’s Ahmedinejad and his opponents for next week’s election blasting each other in their televised debates (if he loses, the next leader will not be nearly as entertaining). Not to mention…….
Cheers
Mohammed

Egypt Losing War on Swine. What Iran, Hezbullah, and Israel Have in Common

"Ghazwat al-Khanazeer": this is what some commentators in Arab media are calling the new Middle East War- and it is not all tongue in cheek. The name harkens back to the early Islamic battles of 14 centuries ago in the birthplace of the faith, the Hijaz Region of the Arabian Peninsula.

Arab media report that in its "War on Pigs", the Egyptian army has succeeded in killing only about 10 thousand enemy combatants so far. This is considered by many commentators as an unhappy level of performance, especially in view of the billions of dollars of arms purchases and foreign military aid. There were estimated to be more than 300 thousand pigs in Egypt, the actual number is probably much higher, but de-Nile is a river in Egypt- n'est-ce pas?

Initially there had been high hopes, even by the Islamist militants, that the army will quickly route the enemy and rid the country of the abominable pig (referring to the four-legged variety). National pride in the military has not been unanimous: Christian Copts, for example, have strongly, and in some cases violently objected to a move that pretends to concern public health while trying to encroach on their own cultural heritage- at least encroach on their cuisine. Some may see the military campaign as a prelude to end the presence of pigs (four-legged ones) in Egypt, thus destroying a rich history that goes back thousands of years.
But would liquidating the swine make the country even more homogeneous?

Some in the pro-regime media (i.e. almost all the media) are already laying the groundwork to blame a possible Tabout Khamis (fifth column) that sympathizes with the plight of the pigs. This fifth column is suspected by some of undermining morale and some even believe it may have helped the pigs directly. This looks suspiciously like the end of October 1973.
Some are seriously looking into an Iranian connection, others suspect a Hezbullah connection and yet others are seeking a possible Israeli connection. There is some logic in all that, of course: all the above do not like pigs. I forgot all about the grim boys of Hamas.
Cheers Mohammed

Egypt's army and the pigs:
“The death of his wife did not keep prime minister Ahmed Nazeef (Nazeef=Clean) from closely monitoring developments in the war being waged by the Egyptian government against pigs…..Meanwhile more than fifty thousand Copts (Egyptian Christians) who work in garbage collection warned that they might force confrontation with the authorities if they find themselves swine-less…” al-Quds al-Arabi

The Egyptian government had decided to liquidate (i.e. destroy) all local pigs, estimated at more than 300 thousand, for fear of the Swine/Mexican/H1N1/N1H1/R2D2 flu. Reports from the battlefields have been sketchy, but it does not look like the Egyptian army is faring well against the swine so far. It may be facing its toughest battle since 1973 when Ariel Sharon punched through to the western side of the Suez Canal and threatened to encircle and destroy the army- the Egyptians still call that a 'victory' mainly because he actually did not destroy their army. For some odd reason he did not: let's ask Kissinger.
Better be careful: the pigs may pull a stunt and surprise the army with a multi-front counterattack led by their very own Wellington and Gebhard von Blucher. But then, after the swine Waterloo, who will end up on Elba, or maybe even St. Helena?

Speaking of porcus:
“The Imam of the Holy Mosque in Mecca has said that all Shi’a ulema (clerics) are heretics without exception. He also denied that Saudi Shi’as face sectarian (Wahhabi) discrimination. He told the BBC that Saudi Shi’as have taken more than their rights. When asked if he agrees with those who cast the Shi’as as heretics, he answered quickly that for the Shi’as in general this is an issue that can be looked into and considered, but as for their ulema (clerics), they are heretics without exception…..When Shaikh Adle alKalb-ani was asked if he believed in religious freedom he said that there should be limits to freedom, asking almost rhetorically (my term) ”Do they have mosques in the Vatican?” …He also said that we will never hear the sound of church bells in the Arabian Peninsula…..(my rhetorical question: so how do they get married to their ten year old brides over there?)”al-Quds al-arabi
I must say, if I had way I would cast most clerics of all faiths as heretics. I may not even start with the good Shaikh Adle alKalb-ani himself. A disclaimer: Shaikh Adle al-Kalbani is not completely adled. His last name derives from ”canis” , a k a man’s best friend but presumably not the shaikh's- look it up.
This is the last word on pigs and their wars for now. But stay tuned.
Cheers
Mohammed

On Terrorism, Cuba, and Don Corleone. Middle East Swinocide and Literacy. A Guantanamo Closes in Lebanon.

"As a ring of gold in a swine's snout So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion" Proverbs 11:22

"And the swine, though its hoof is parted, and is cloven-footed, yet it chews not the cud; it is unclean to you. Of their flesh shall you not eat, and their carcasses you shall not touch; they are unclean to you" (Leviticus 11:1-8)

"Prohibited for you are 'al-maytah' (animals that are found dead),
'Al-Damm' (blood), 'lahm Al-Khinzeer' (the flesh of pigs),
and animals dedicated to other than God." Quran

Terrorism, al-Qaeda, Don Corleone, and (a fly) Swat: “US State Department report names Iran as the major sponsor of terrorism in the world…But al-Qaeda, which has restructured and rebuilt in Pakistan, is the biggest threat….The Bush administration deleted North Korea from the list of states supporting terrorism… Which leaves Iran, Syria, Sudan, and Cuba….”
Cuba? Maybe, but it sounds so twentieth century…sort of like talking about the gulag or Generalissimo Franco...Or even Batista, Hyman Roth, and Don Corleone (fils).

Everybody, almost, knows about al-Qaeda regrouping in Pakistan/Afghanistan after their defeats in such places as Iraq and Saudi Arabia, for now. But which of these four states on the list sponsors al-Qaeda? Could it be not a state, but part of a state apparatus, such as the Pakistani ISI? Or maybe it is done in a roundabout way through the ‘more palatable’ local Taliban.
FYI: al-Qaeda also has growing influence in Yemen (Arabia Felix), where the qat (ghat) is eminently chewable (by all) and the various tribes and sects are restless when they are not stoned.
BTW: the green Afghan grasshopper (Karzai, if you need to ask) has been awfully quiet lately, ever since the fiasco about legal conjugal rape.

Church and Dungeon: “Churchgoers are more likely to back torture…survey finds.” CNN, today.
So, what else is new? I could have told you that without a costly, funded, survey. That has been often the case since before Tomas de Torquemada. Just look around: religious fun-dementa-lists of all denominations are more prepared to condone violence. Look at the Middle East (as well as America). Both the Islamic fundamentalists as well as the extremist Jewish fundamentalist settlers in the West Bank who stand in the way of peace. Not to mention the political fundamentalists of the right who have never met a contracted private torturer thy didn't like.

Update on Egyptian swine: The decision to slaughter the swine in Egypt has been clarified. The healthy swine will be slaughtered for food, as they are supposed to be (ever hear of pig milk or pig cheese? Come to think of it, why not?). The contaminated swine will be utterly destroyed. Apparently they have not heard the cautions from WHO and other health officials that the pigs are not carriers, not the four-legged pigs anyway. Maybe Egypt’s politicians are like most other Arab politicians: they do not read beyond comic books.
If it makes any difference: the UAE has banned the import of all sorts of swine. Told ya about the aversion to reading thing, didn’t I?

Along the same vein: “An Egyptian wife, a female doctor, has asked a judge to annul her marriage after her husband refused to grant her a divorce. This all happened after she discovered that her husband is in fact an undertaker, not a veterinarian as he had been claiming to her. She discovered his true job by accident while she eavesdropped on a phone call…” Alarabiya, today.
When confronted, the husband is reported to have coolly told his wife that “So what. At least I deal with humans instead of animals as you had thought.”
Not exactly a hate crime, but…

Guantanamo in Beirut: Four top Lebanese security officers (some of the very top security chiefs in Lebanon) had been held by the Lebanese government four years without charges, suspects in the bombing assassination of former PM Hariri. Yesterday the International Court reviewing the case in the Hague ordered them released because they were being held illegally and for lack of evidence to indict them. The four (a mix of Muslims and Christians) came out swinging in favor of Hezullah and its allies. The 'opposition' are ecstatic, even though they are playing it cool, not gloating too loudly in this tense election year. The Hariri-Saniora camp has several eggs, exactly four eggs, on its collective face, for it was the government that held these four so long without charges. They would have preferred the four released after the June elections.
Lebanese analysts seem to think that this will affect the outcome of the election. Maybe but not by much, on va voir.
Cheers
Mohammed
mhg6363@gmail.com

On Pigs, Middle East Politics, and American Politics

"You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig." Barack Obama
“I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” Winston Churchill (well, he said it)

Swine on the Nile: "Egyptian parliament votes to execute 250 thousand pigs..." The parliament, totally dominated by the ruling party, has shown one sign of life. A quarter million pigs are to be liquidated. This may worsen sectarian problems inside Egypt between Muslims and the minority Copts who probably operate most of the pig farms. In true Middle Eastern fashion, all the pigs in question are out of power, of course. So, a viral strain of flu starts in some pig farm in the Mexican state of Vera Cruz, but spreads through humans....is spreading only through humans, and Egypt's assembly votes to kill a bunch of pigs- all out of power pigs. Since the pigs are now neutral, they are not spreading the flu, why not leave them alone and go for the real culprits? Why not start executing people who are the real carriers? And why not start with political imbeciles who make stupid decisions about killing pigs for a disease spread by humans? I mean kill them politically, not physically, of course.
Speaking of a swine flu i: There are rumors, for now mostly spread by me, that the fully-appointed Saudi advisory council started a move to recommend killing all pigs in Saudi Arabia. It is quite plausible. Then someone mentioned that there are not supposed to be any four-legged pigs in the kingdom.

I wonder how the Iranians are dealing with the swine flu and with swines in general? I imagine they have four-legged pigs in the country even though the mullahs, like their Saudi counterparts, frown upon the jambon, even the Virginia honeyed jambon. So far Ahmadinejad has kept his cool (tres Obamaesque): not a word in public about pigs or swine. It seems suspicious to me, this silence of his. On the one hand he can't possibly say anything good about pigs, the four-legged kind. On the other, he can't say anything too bad about pigs either, because he doesn't want to be seen to openly agree with the Israelis, especially the religious extremists that dominate the current Likud coalition, on anything. That might offend his current Hamas fundamentalist friends who he remembers were originally close friends, nay the creation, of the Saudis before they took power and refused to toe the line. It is tough being pig-headed.

Speaking of a swine plot ii: "Did you see how Obama went to Mexico and right after that they got this terrible killer flu? He brings disaster to everything he touches..." Rush Limbaugh, biter and demoralized on the radio. Speaking of fat, stupid pigs.... I wonder what has Glenn Beck opined recently on this issue? I hear that he thinks it is somehow related to illegal immigration (what about Lou Dobbs?), although Sean Hannity seems to think it may be part of a plot to sneak in health care reform and universal coverage for all Americans, even those who do not deserve it. Others have expressed fear that it might help Obama turn the United States into a European country of the type where bitter people don't necessarily cling to their semi-automatic guns. This is especially relevant these days for people in places like small-town western Pennsylvania: for what would they do without their guns when the pandemic crosses the Ohio, the Monangahela, and the Alleghenny?
Cheers
Mohammed

mhg6363@gmail.com

Of arms and fat cats:

“There was a significant increase in arms shipments to the Middle East….The UAE is the third biggest importers of weapons in the world for 2008…..It imported about 6% of total weapons exported in the world, while India imported 7% and China imported 11%.....The UAE, (with a population of less than 3 million) imported twice as much weapons as Egypt (with a population of some 80 million)……” SIPRI
I like to think that fat sales commissions to fat potentates are probably not an important factor behind these transactions. Even with the notorious example of the BAES-alYamama case a few years ago.


Iran, Israel and Orange diplomacy:

“Israeli defense minister Ehud Barak said that Iran uses a chess strategy in managing her nuclear portfolio. He said the Iranians are not playing domino, but the game of chess, since they are the ones who invented this game. They play chess in a very complex and they play in a very programmed way....” Middle East Online
“Ahmadinejad had been distributing Israeli oranges to his supporters….”
“The oranges came into Iran through another country, probably China, where the county of origin was changed…..”
“This is one example of the duplicity of Iran towards Israel and the Palestinian cause…”
“Israel and Iran are two faces of the same coin…” “Maybe it is part of a new rapprochement with the Obama administration…Would that leave the Arabs again out in the cold?” Various Saudi media columnists.

Actually, maybe there is something to all this. First he says that he would support the two-state solution if the Palestinians agree to it, and now he promotes Israeli oranges. What will come next? Will he recant and agree publicly with what he knows privately: that the Holocaust actually did happen? Will he rent Schindler's List from his local Blockbuster or Netflix? But what if the oranges are really Palestinian, as grown by Palestinian workers in Israeli orchards? Maybe he knows that too. Will we be calling this the beginning of the era of "Orange Diplomacy" between Iran and Israel? Of course his losing the June election will put an end to all this speculation.

Of swine flu and kosher Salafis:
“Egypt is considering executing thousands of pigs. Gulf Cooperatin Council States (GCC) have declared they have taken the total readiness steps to face the danger of the Swine flu that may be brought in by foreign travelers. GCC and Yemen will meet in Doha Saturday to coordinate….” Alarabiya
Shouldn’t they also include all regional countries? Israel already has at least one case of the flu. Shouldn’t they also invite Israel, Iran, Turkey, and other Arab states? Does the flu know when it is outside the Gulf region? Swine flu in the Mideast is further proof that we are part of the world: imagine some pigs in the scenic state of Vera Cruz have managed to spread fear so far away. But it was discovered in Israel, so far: that could mean that they are not as kosher as we are, even though they have as many religious nuts in their government as we do in the Arab/Moslem world. Speaking of which: expect some fun-dementa-list shaikh to come out railing against the West for eating pork and therefore causing the swine flu.

Hillary visits a shrine in Beirut:
“Secretary of state Hillary Clinton came to Beirut and met only with the president, and the March 14 (Hariri camp). She did not meet with her Lebanese counterpart, foreign minister Fawzi Saloukh, who is part of the March 8 group (Hezbullah and its partners). She brought along former US ambassador Jeffrey Feltman (who in the past some in the opposition have erroneously called the real leader of the March 14 movement)…” Aafaq
Lebanese media on the Hariri side are ecstatic that she did not meet with the minister. Media of the Hezbullah allies seem resigned to it, since they did not expect her to meet with the minister during this period of political fog. During her two hours in Lebanon, she also managed to visit the shrine founded for assassinated former prime minister Rafiq Hariri, something the Hariris treat as a mini-version of Yad Vashim. Or perhaps as their very own mini-Karbala. A better comparison may be to the Lenin mausoleum in Moscow: except that old Hariri is not embalmed in a glass box.
But what if the opposition, i.e Hezbullah and its Shi’a, Sunni, and Christian allies get a majority in the June elections? Would that tilt the country more toward Shi’a fundamentalism rather than Wah...wah...wah....(was that a habi?) fundamentalism?

Citigroup, Apple, financial innovation, financial stupidity, and greed:
“Kuwait’s minister of finance has said that he expects to make profits from the deal whereby the country purchased shares of Citigroup a few years ago.....” Elaph
He was wise enough to add ‘Inshallah, God willing’, since I don’t expect him to see profits from the Citigroup investment in my lifetime, or in his lifetime even though I hope he lives long enough to see it. I know him: he is a really nice person and an improvement over the ministers before him. He is a simple man and hard working, not an empty dishdasha and bisht. But the Citigroup stake was probably bought at somewhere north of $25 a share, how much north I am not sure, could be north of $30 a share. It would take many many years to recoup that kind of a loss. At less than $3 a share, Citigroup is no Apple: it does not have innovators who can whip up desirable new products like Steve Jobs and his colleagues. Greed can be creative, but only up to a point. Financial stupidity disguised as innovation, of course, has no bounds, as we have found out in recent years. I still believe, firmly, that the guy in the KIA American Investments Dept responsible for that investment in Citi should be demoted to serving thick syrupy sweet tea and water.

Egypt, again:
“A new study from the Center to Combat Terrorism at West Point points out that the Egyptian government is encouraging the growth of extremist Salafi (Wahhabi) movements in order to block the increasing influence of the Muslim Brotherhood (the main Islamist opposition). The government has released many followers of the Salafis, who tend to be extremely intolerant of people of other faiths (like Coptic Christians and Shi’as).” Aljazeera TV

“Egyptian authorites have released a Saudi doctor who was arrested on charges of possessing a picture of Hezbullah leader Hassan Nasrallah in his apartment. The suspect was held for about a week.” Al-Quds Alarabi, Rasid.

Cheers

Mohammed

mhg6363@gmail.com

A Northwest Epiphany: Muslims and Global Warming. The Governess and I: A Rain Prayer Or a Rain Dance

One day last week, at a point when we thought that we will never see a full day of sun again, after six long months of cloudy skies, rain, snow, and hail I made a remark to someone at home. I suggested that the monarch around here, may he lead a long life, should also lead an un-rain payer, or a sunshine prayer. Or maybe it should be called the stop-the-rain prayer. A sort of tea party against long weeks of damp, cold, dark weather.

She looked at me as if I was delivering another of my senseless suggestions, the kind I make in frustration and despair (doesn’t everybody?). I patiently explained that in Saudi Arabia the king leads what is called the istisqa’ prayer, the rain prayer. That they do the same in other countries of the Middle East, especially in the Arabia Deserta region. The mullahs in Iran probably don't do it, they have rivers, nor the Iraqis, nor Husni Brezhnev Mubarak in Egypt.

“No, you mean they do the rain dance….”

Now I was really getting into it: “Maybe they do the dance as well, like the Indi…the Native Americans, I am not sure. But I know they do the rain prayer every year, especially when things look dry. And you can’t get any drier than Saudi Arabia….unless you’re talking Afghanistan under the Taliban. If you get my meaning.” She seemed to get my meaning, but was not amused about the inevitable pun.

“We don’t have a king. We have a governor.”

“Well the governor then…but Chris Gregoire is a woman. A governess? Like the south Asian and southeast Asians that run households and raise Arab children?”

That last remark managed to elicit some laughter, not without mirth: “Not a governess, a governor. She is the equivalent of a king or a shaikh here, an elected one. Our Arnold.”

“Ah. An elected king or shaikh… a female one at that. Not sure how the muftis and the ulema will look on that. Not sure how the tribes will look at that.”

Which for some reason led me to think about global warming, that gimmick created by liberals, progressives, and leftists of all stripe to undermine the business community, rabid talk radio hosts, and the American way of life. Not to mention undermining the major oil companies, Halliburton, and OPEC. Is it possible that it is an act, nay a process, of divine will?

Some U.S. conservatives believe in the phenomenon, the fact, we call global warming, but they do not believe that it is necessarily caused by man or woman or whatever. This line of thought has the advantage of accepting plain facts, yet disarming the main arguments of the left, the part about the need to d something about it and harming the oil majors and Halliburton.

Which led me to think: if not caused by man, then who made it? Other creatures on Earth do not have the potency and ability of man: not even all the cows and horses in Montana and Wyoming, throwing in the famous prolific asses of Jordan and Yemen, can together produce enough methane to account for the melting of the polar ice caps.

If we pray for rain, then maybe it is because we know the draught is caused by someone else. Ditto for global warming. So, ergo, global warming could be an act of God. It is his way of telling us he wants us elsewhere, either back where we came from, up there somewhere, or down there in that other place that Dante wrote about.

In the meantime: Our lawn is still soggy, after three days of non-rain, to the extent that it is like walking over a huge green sponge: water spurts up into your shoes and your socks as you walk, with sounds of noisy suction emanating around you. I still roll up my regulation Northwest jeans in order to go check the mail (I haven’t got used to the regulation Northwest outfit of shorts combined with fleece in temperatures below fifty).

Back in the Middle East: FYI-did you know that the head of Libyan intelligence is a gentleman named Musa Kusa? That would be Moses Kusa (Zucchini), or Moishe Kusa (Zucchini). Who knows, some day we may see a president Musa Kusa (Zucchini) at the Middle East summits. Then I can tell the leaders at the next summit what they can do with that kusa. I thought someone might be interested....

Cheers

Mohammed

Roxana and the Mullahs, Disunited Police States of the Mideast. Pinning Their Hopes on Bibi

Rewinding Iranian justice: The Iranian kangaroo court, in true Middle Eastern style, took only one day to pass a sentence of eight years in prison on Roxana Saberi, former beauty queen from the frozen great state of North Dakota. It had to be a kangaroo court because no self-respecting judge would pass judgment in one day. In case you didn’t know: outside Iran and Saudi Arabia it takes days to bring in witnesses and have them testify and cross examine them.
She is held in Evin prison, often called notorious by the Western media, the same prison that gained notoriety under the Shah. Apparently some things don't change much in the Middle East no matter what the regime.

She was held for working as a reporter long after her credentials expired- not a smart thing to do in the Middle East. But apparently the authorities in Iran knew she was reporting, of course they knew: security services in the police states of Old and New Middle East know everything. They gave her at least tacit permission for almost three years.
She was sentenced for espionage after a trial that reportedly lasted one day. Even under the ancien regime trials lasted longer than that. This is something that would drive an attorney like Alan Dershowitz mad- although I would not advise him to show up at Mehrabad Airport (or have they changed the name?). It is not clear yet what specific charges or evidence the court heard- but even Saddam Hussein got three years to make his case in court.

Iranian mullahs, some elements of them, are good at shooting themselves in the foot. Or maybe they are good at derailing chances for improved relations with the United States, something that anecdotal evidence shows most Iranians welcome and many of the mullahs fear.

Speaking of Iran: some Arab media, especially in the Gulf region, which have been despondent lately at the dimming prospect of an attack on Iran, are perking up. They waited years for George W Bush and Darth Vader Cheney to get their act together in Iraq and Afghanistan so that they could make a similar case for an attack on Iran. The US intelligence community torpedoed that with its famous NIE Report of the fall of 2007.

With President Obama making peace overtures, the war camp had just about given up this year. Until Israeli polls showed Banjamin Netanyahu's right-wing Likud ahead in the polls. I suspect that many potentates and their media gunslingers prayed for a Likud victory. I would not go so far as to speculate that they vowed to make the usual 5-star Hajj or Omrah trips, putting up with such inconveniences as first class flights and 5-star hotels for the sake of the Lord. No, I certainly would not- but some may have slaughtered a few sacrificial sheep after Peres gave the nod to the Likud. Well, at least some kosher chickens.

Now they have it, and the editorials seem hopeful again of the prospects for an air attack on Iranian facilities. The airwaves carry waves of excitement reminiscent of early September 1980, when the potentates and their print media hitched their wagons to the Takriti star, their media egging him onward (Onward Ba'athist soldiers, marching as to war.....reminiscent of a favorite daily hymn at the chapel in my old Pennsylvania school). We all know how that one ended in 1980 and for long after that.

The partnership of Netanyahu and Lieberman (the thug Avigdor not the goofy-looking Joe) is making the right noises.
Of course Israeli planes must fly over Arab territory to reach Iran, and some countries are unlikely to give permission. Turkey definitely won't. And it is highly unlikely the assault will be sustainable enough to do serious damage. And the Israelis have not yet done their homework in Lebanon, where a heavily-armed Hezbullah lurks. But they are apparently looking for a way to bloody the Iranian allies in Lebanon before that. Egypt has been the focus of that with almost daily reports of uncovering Shi'a cells (sort of like uncovering Baptist cells in Massachusetts or Vermont). There is an intense and coordinated campaign by the Egyptian and vast Saudi media to soften public opinion for an assault by either or both (no, not an assault by these two Middle East wusses, they can't assault a crippled rabbi. I was talking about Israel and the US).

Aljazeera website, not yet a favorite of Arab ruling classes, reported yesterday a possible solution to the problem of crossing Arab-American lands on the way to Iran. It hints that some Arab F-16 jets may be repainted with Israeli marks to join the attacks (but the pilots will be Israelis, I assume, otherwise all will be lost).

“Israel learns empty boasting from Iran. For the nth thousandth time, we’ve lost count,…Israel getting ready to strike Iran” Middle East Online, apparently frustrated.

“Israeli strike could take place within hours…awaiting the green light…” A hopeful Alarabiya.

Editorials in the Saudi media like Asharq Alawsat, al-hayat, Alarabiya, and Elaph are almost solely focused on that Hezbullah-Egypt topic or something to do with secret cells spreading the Shi’a faith. Apparently every hired editorial writer and columnist is expected to contribute to the case, because they all have tediously. One chief editor and owner (alseyassah) has specialized in this: it takes up almost as much of his time as kissing prominent cheeks (if you are unfamiliar with the last term, look it up in the dictionary of vulgar vernacular, or is it a dictionary of human anatomy?).

Most of these editorials read like they were written by the same person and edited by the purported writer- after all how many different ways can you make the same point. Which reminds me: I should end this posting right now!
Cheers
Mohammed

Rich Man’s Tea Party, Poor Man’s Tea. Can Republicans Tell Yellow Monkey From Zeitgeist ?

April 14, 2009:

I told my wife this evening as we watched the news that those Republican operatives and agitators should eschew the plebeian teabags and go for the real stuff: the Yellow Monkey. She did not seem to think that my idea merited a response, maybe she thought I was dissing her tea. I looked at Scooter, apparently speculatively, because Scooter gave me a don't-you-dare look, growled softly and man's best friend, my best friend, quickly turned to face the fireplace instead of me. So here goes:

Tomorrow the GOP will have its Tea Party. On tax day, apparently many people have been convinced that their taxes will go up soon. Most of them will probably get tax cuts, but perhaps they do not realize it. People who earn a quarter million or more are highly unlikely to join the Tea Party (unless they are politicians): they will encourage others to do so. The instigators, those who initiated the idea of the Tea Party know that they will have to cough up more taxes, especially when the Bush tax cuts expire.

Fox News will cover the events, just as it has been drumming up attendance for them. I will venture to guess that the most vocal media supporters, other than politicians, will not attend. The likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, O'Reilly, and Medved will not be there: it costs them too much in money, many thousands of dollars per hour to participate in the silly things they urge other poor saps to join. Besides hardly any of them drink tea, not until they hit sixty and worry about digestive issues. It shows how out of touch with zeitgeist the Republicans are: they should at least be dumping $3 lattes and $4 mochas instead of these silly teabags that did not even exist in the eighteenth century.

Now if they want to dump real tea in Boston Harbor, which will not be as hospitable to them as it was to the original Tea-partiers, hey should go for the gold. Get some of the real stuff, get some potent Yellow Monkey. That should put some ideological hair on anyone’s chest, including Joe the Plumber who is a plumber no more. Well, not anyone’s chest: I can think of a certain governor in the farthest corner of the Northwest, farther than even I am right now.

In any case, they can afford it, even if those they have talked into the event cannot. And FYI: the Yellow Monkey is not something that one smokes furtively, contrary to what many Republicans might think. It is brewed in hot water and served in cups. And it is not related to the Orange Outang.

It is probably too late for me to go out for a cup of Zeitgeist, and it is ridiculous to cross the Lake just for that this late at night.

I don't believe any of this stuff has anything to do with the Middle East- not directly, not yet.

Cheers

mhg

m.h.ghuloum@gmail.com

On Plebeian Jackasses, Middle East Politics, Netanyahu, and CPAC 2009

Back to asses and donkeys of the Middle East:
I have received a couple of comments from people objecting to my recent reference to asses and donkeys in the context of the Middle East and Arabia. I did not mean to single out asses from our region, but this blog is about the region and therefore it is normal that I cover Middle East asses, especially Arab ones, more than other asses.

The fact is that we have, in our native region, our fair share of donkeys and asses: some of them in high places, many of them write in the local nausea media, and a few are even bloggers. I don't mean here to equate our more highly-placed asses with the plain plebeian asses, what some in my native country call the hiffai. Despite what a great Declaration says, all jackasses are not equal. Maybe they are created equal, but are no longer so, especially in the Middle East, where ironically some of the biggest asses belong to the oligarchies and their retainers.

This is not to say that there are no donkeys and asses in other parts of the world. There are plenty of those. And since we are on the subject of asses: did you know that Bibi Netanyahu is almost back in power in Israel?
I have traveled and lived in many parts of the world and I know, for example, that Europeans have their fair share of jackasses, and maybe more. Just look at Silvio Berlusconi in Italy, and there are many more in high places (I exempt Carla Bruni but Nicolas Sarkozy is on probation).

As for America: did you see the (U.S) Republican National Convention last summer? And the CPAC 2009 this past week? That should have convinced you that asininity has long crossed the Atlantic and is a worldwide phenomenon and not confined to one continent or one faith. Maybe it is part of the new globalism. It may even be exportable: George W. Bush may live to fight another day as Bibi Netanyahu.
I still like the old Latin adagium: asinus asinum fricat. Look it up, but it is not in calculus books, that would be asymptotes (vertical or horizontal).
Cheers
Mohammed

Saudi King Changes Personnel. Iran, Bahrain, and Three Islands. Israeli ‘Winners’ Flirt with Lieberman- NY Post Goes Ape: Dead Chimp and a Vast Political Wilderness. Hugo Chaves vs Ayn Rand

Middle East: of elections, reforms, personnel changes, and fuel alcohol:

Saudi king Abdullah announced reforms that involve mainly changes of personnel rather than institutional or “constitutional” changes. Even so, these changes are quite unusual for Saudi Arabia, and would not have been expected a few years ago. The king changed the head of the very powerful religious police (Society for Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice), the head of the judiciary, as well as some cabinet members. He also appointed the first female undersecretary, predictably in the Ministry of Education. She will be in charge of “female” student affairs. It is still easier for a woman in the kingdom to ride an ass than drive a car.

The changes are touted as momentous reforms, but in fact they are not: they involve mainly changes in the personnel rather than institutional, legal, or political. Real reform would call for disbanding the religious police and making the advisory council membership by election, among many other measures. Personnel changes usually reflect internal struggles rather than basic reforms. Still, by Saudi standards they are, well, changes, if mainly of personnel.

Saudi media and their satellites have not yet called King Abdullah the Arab Obama: after all he has been around forever, and he is an absolute king, and he doesn’t need to find a couple of Republican senators to pass a stimulus deal. But they are sending strong signals.

On the other hand, a leading Saudi cleric, a professor at the high judicial institute and member of the Supreme Theological College, has warned Saudis living abroad, especially students, from resorting to the use of alcohol fuel instead of gasoline. He quoted the Prophet Mohammed as putting ten curses on alcohol, including buying, selling, and carrying it. Except that they did not have cars in those days- camels always make their own gas, as the shaikh probably knows very well. Besides, the human body probably ferments its own alcohol through the digestive system.

A political prisoner released:

Egypt’s president Mubarak has released Ayman Nour, the man who ran against him once and paid for it with three years in prison on trumped up charges accepted by a state kangaroo court. Some Arab commentators speculate that maybe now he (Mubarak) will have a chance now to enter the new White House for a chat with you know who.

Iran and Bahrain-a shot in the foot:

Iranian officials have a knack for shooting themselves in the foot. Recently a “high” official has revived the old claim to Bahrain as an Iranian province. This is not the first such claim in the past year or two. In the early 1970s, at the end of British rule, the Bahraini people, most of whom are Shi’a, voted for independence. That should have settled the issue- it did.

Iranian claims do not help the people of Bahrain, who have some legitimate grievances against the ruling oligarchy. Such claims also do not help ease tensions in the Gulf region which is now highly polarized and some like to see even more polarized along ethnic and sectarian lines. They also do not help Iran’s position in the region. Perhaps the claims are related to Iranian elections, or perhaps they are in retaliation for public Arab claims to three Gulf islands that Iran holds and considers its territory. The UAE also claims those islands.

Israel scrambles to form a cabinet:

In Israel, Tzipi Livni’s Kadima came ahead by two seats, but the more right-wing Bibi Netanyahu has a better chance of forming a coalition. Avigdor Lieberman (no direct relation to Joe), who is further to the right of both, is more likely to join the Likud than Livni in a coalition government. Lieberman is reported to want to evict all Arabs from within Israel’s recognized borders: that is some chutzpah for a guy who arrived from Russia as an adult to want to expel people who have been there for over fifteen hundred years or so. One The Nation magazine article calls him virulently anti-Arab- that means anti Israeli Arabs.

The combination of Netanyahu-Lieberman, if it comes to that, is dreaded by the moderate Arab governments who have tried to push the settlement agenda in order to reduce Iranian influence in Gaza, Syria, and Lebanon. It almost certainly will be a setback for the prospects of a settlement. Of course, with a hostile fundamentalist Hamas in Gaza and the Israelis own fundamentalist settler crazies clogging the West Bank, peace prospects were never that good during the past two years. This whole jockeying for power leaves Ehud Barak and Labor in the dust, an unfortunate development in recent years. It looks like both Israelis and Palestinians veer to the right whenever they have a chance to vote these days. I think they are somehow related?

On asinine economics, a dead chimp, and political wilderness: Lessons from the Gulf?

The dead chimp cartoon in the New York Post (Feb 18) shows how unhinged the right wing has become after its well-deserved election defeats. The prospect of many years in the political wilderness of minority status is painful. Listening to Rush Limbaugh on the car radio has convinced me that he sees the prospect of a long time in the political wilderness. At least he strongly suspects it- it comes through the bravado that he needs to show for his $50 million/year contract.

“It may be necessary to nationalize the banks temporarily in order to save them…” An almost-repentant Alan Greenspan (Financial Times)

“Greenspan backs bank nationalisation: Temporary government-control may be necessary…” FT

“Bank nationalization gains ground with Republicans: Long regarded in the US as a folly of Europeans, nationalization is gaining rapid acceptance among Washington opinion-formers – and not just with Alan Greenspan, former Federal Reserve chairman. Perhaps stranger still, many of those talking about nationalizing banks are Republicans….” FT Feb 18

Have they all now become disciples of Hugo Chaves instead of Ayn Rand?

Actually one advantage of ‘partial’ nationalization is that it may be the only way to get rid of the old failed management that seems to cling to power even as the results of their overpaid genius are out in the open now.

The state of the US financial industry now reminds me of another financial industry I am quite familiar with-outside the US of course. Maybe they/we have influenced the American financial CEOs in some ways: as in how to screw up real good, lose billions, ask the government for aid, get the public aid, and cling to corporate power. Then do it again every few years.

Cheers

Mohammed