Tuesday, July 15, 2008

A Belgian Wfle Swallows the King of Beer. Campaign Myths: Obama is Muslim and McCain Wears a Diaper. Of Thanksgiving Turkeys and Arab Leaders

Of Beer and Politics:
The times, they are a-changin’. Bob Dylan was absoeffinglutely right.
A Belgian brewer (InBev) is buying Budweiser. Actually their own Stella Artois is a tasty beer, or so I understand from second or better yet third hand accounts, but still: Belgium? Belgium: a fake funny Old Europe kingdom buys out the King of Beer?
I think of all the good times I spent at Larry Blake’s (on Telegraph Ave) and other welcoming joints stretching from Manhattan, though Clemson in the Deep South all the way to the dock of 'The Bay', especially East Bay. I was following Manifest Destiny, westward from coast to shining coast with the famous welcoming sign. The King of Beer. That Bud was for me, for all I do, the King of Beer was coming through…
The main distinction of that country, that would be Belgium, is that it has a waffle named after it, for a reason that almost no one knows. A waffle of a country, a word that would make an American presidential candidate squirm as much as flip-flop.
Another questionable distinction is that the Battle of Waterloo between old Europe (Britain, Prussia, Russia, Austro-Hungary) and New Europe (Revolutionary France) was on its soil, but that depends on which side one rooted for at the time. I would probably have rooted for Nappy if only because I could not stand those stuck-up, in-bred, retentive mushrooms that were the aristocracy.
Oh, and another distinction of Belgium that I remember is that it is the country that periodically uncovers a vast network of pedophiles. I mean really nasty networks of pedophiles. But in fairness I haven’t heard of many of those in recent years.

On the other hand, the great Pacific Northwest has cured me from the King of Beer for some time now, for reasons that anyone who has been to the area would understand.

The shaikhs of Abu Dhabi have bought the Chrysler Building, a Manhattan landmark. But then again, major US oil companies are poised to control Iraq’s vast oil fields. Halliburton, of Dick Cheney fame, has already reaped massive benefits from contracts in Iraq, many with the US government, the military, and with Iraq.
At least the White House will never be for sale, no? Well, not really, maybe just for rent every four or eight years, when they start talking about something called a 'presidential library'. Not sure why they would call it 'presidential' when most of the funding and financing is done in very un-presidential fashion.

Campaign myths and Arab leaders:
The notion that Obama is a Muslim, secret or otherwise, will never go away. Maybe if he is elected and has spent some time in office the idea will be dispelled, especially after he pardons his first Thanksgiving Turkey instead of slitting its throat (incidentally, expect Bush to pardon many turkeys early next January). Actually his election in itself will put an end to that, unless he shows up to his victory rally in a turban or a checkered kaffiya.

Recently there was also a hint from someone on a cable network (definitely not FoxNews) that Senator McCain may be wearing a diaper. The pace of the campaign is grueling, but that type of information is a personal thing between a candidate and his doctor (specialist, of course).
Besides, by that measure there are many leaders who would be candidates for wearing diapers. I can think of a few in the Arab World. Let me see, one, two, three, At least three, but don’t worry: there will be more as the years go by and younger Arab leaders turn old, then very old, in office. Some die in office and that is the end of it. Others, both monarchs and presidents, continue through their progeny. Unfortunately the latter has been the trend in recent years, and look for it to continue as the moderate New Middle East and the Old Middle East enter the post-Bush, post-Cheney, post-trigger-happy era.
Cheers
Mohammed

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